Are you stressed? Irritable? Do you feel like you’re loosing yourself? Then you’re probably a mom who needs to learn the secret tips & tricks to being a better mom.
Let’s take a short test. Talk to someone for at least 3 minutes, in can be in person or on the phone. When you’re done think back to how many times you mentioned your kids & family. Did you talk about you at all? Were you even a thought?
Odds are that you didn’t talk about yourself. But your family most likely came up multiple times.
As mothers, we tend to always put others before us. Whether it’s getting sleep, eating, even showering. The result is burnout which leads to a unhappy mom which tends to then lead to taking it out on your family. That isn’t always the case, but it does happen.
The secret to being a better mom isn’t just one thing but a combination of things.
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Get up early
Don’t roll your eyes at me. I know its crazy. But even giving yourself 10 extra minutes in the morning, before everybody else wakes up makes a world of difference. You can just lay in the bed & enjoy the moments to yourself or you can get up & shower, make coffee, read a bit, prepare for the day. Whatever you do make sure you do it for you.
It’s so easy to carry the guilt & stress of every little thing involved in parenting. Let it go. I know that’s easier said than done. I struggle with it myself. But seriously let it go. Don’t stress about what you are or aren’t doing. Don’t carry the burden of stressing if your kids are ok without you. They’re fine.
I understand the need to want to prove yourself. You feel like you have to meet the standards that are set by yourself & probably by others for some form of perfection. Let it go. Often times “perfection” comes when you’re not trying so hard. Don’t feel guilty because you didn’t have themed birthday party food like your neighbor. My guess is that your child thought that they had the best birthday party ever!
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Bond with your spouse
Before kids you probably did all sorts of things together. Since the kids, it may not be as much. When you’re reconnected without conflict, the living envirnoment is generally much more relaxed. Take the time to bond again. I know dates can be hard to come by especially when you factor in kids but it is possible. For inspiration on frugal date ideas check out our list here.
Excuse my language, but screw what other people do, think, or say.
For me this was the hardest lesson to learn. In the age of social media we always tend to compare what others are doing to what we’re doing. That creates a domino effect. Comparing leads to mom guilt which leads to overdoing it which leads to exhaustion which of course creats a rabid squirrel/bear hybrid, oops I mean a cranky mom. The sames goes for worrying about what other people think/say. If you spend time focusing & worrying about commentary you’ll never be happy. Focus on the positive & what works for your household.
Be confident in your choices!
Do it for you
Make it a point to do something just for you. Don’t loose yourself in being a mom. Who you were before is still extremely important. You are not just a wife, you are not just a mom, you are so much more.
If you haven’t seen it, there’s an awesome interview with Jada Pinkett Smith. Take a moment to watch it here. In it she talks about how important it is for her, her marriage, & her family to be happy. She discovered the hard way that it is imporant to put yourself 1st sometimes. I love Jada’s quote that, “When you stop taking care of yourself you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others.”
If you don’t have any idea of where to begin focusing on you here are some ideas:
- Make standing hair appointment
- Learn something new from cooking to art with online classes. I love the classes offered by Bluprint. You can try a free 7 day trial of Bluprint.
- Get a massage
- Take a fitness class
- Have a girls’ night
- Go for a walk
- Read a new book
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